Yesterday, I found out that Travis was having surgery. Not just any surgery, brain surgery. We all like to think that when a relationship is over we move on and forget. However, that is about as far from the truth as it could be. We don’t just stop loving a person. We allow ourselves to move on, yes. We don’t necessarily get over someone though. Love has a funny way with us. You can be over and moved on from someone, and still love them. There is a distinct different in loving a person and being in-love with someone. So, don’t confuse the two.
All that I said before was to bring up this point. Travis having surgery has invoked emotions in me I once though that I wouldn’t have over him anymore. Though, here they are. I cried last night because I couldn’t imagine not having him somewhere out there. I miss him and would love to have our friendship back.
I hope, scratch that, it’s rare I say this; I pray he comes through this. I am not a praying man. I am not a man whom believes in the christian God that takes an active role in our lives. I do believe in a higher being that at times grants us miracles. Right now, I am asking for that miracle. I want Travis to make it through all this. Not so I can spare myself the pain and guilty of not being on good terms with him. Not so that I can re-kindle anything with him. I pray for this so that he can live the life he has always deserved to live. The life that at one time I wanted to give to him. If by the grace of the miracle worker I get to try and have my friend back than awesome. If not I won’t blame anyone. I will regret that I wasn’t there to say good bye though. I will hate myself over so many things. But most of all over not being on good terms with him.
For anyone out there reading this. Please, if you end a relationship, make sure you end it right. Don’t hold a grudge against the person. Don’t try and pick the relationship failures apart. Just accept that you two weren’t soulmates, even if you felt like it. Why? Because of the way I feel right now. I know now that we were not meant to be with each other romantically. However, now I want to be beside him more than anything.
They say that time heals all wounds. Emotional and physical. What most fail to tell you though is, even emotional wounds leave scars. They heal but that scar is a reminder that you felt at one time. So embrace it. You’ll appreciate the scars at one point in time. It may not be in a week, month, year, or even 10 years from now. One day you will though.
Live your life with no regrets. Easier said than done. Believe me.